


Is this real?

by Imnotweirdjustwriting



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 06:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14014242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imnotweirdjustwriting/pseuds/Imnotweirdjustwriting
Summary: Nightmares are a bitch





	Is this real?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theatergay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatergay/gifts).



The clock sitting on Jack’s nightstand said it was 3:46 am. The list of things that annoyed Jack about the clock included but was not limited to: the Mountain Dew green color of the numbers, the unfairly bright light, and the fact that the numbers were inching closer and closer to 4 am with each breath Jack took and he still wasn’t getting any closer to sleep. 

“You’re thinking,” Race said, his voice unnaturally loud in the deathly quiet room. “I can hear you thinking.”

Jack wasn’t even surprised that Race was still awake. “Talk to me then,” he said, his voice still soft. 

“About what?” Race asked. Jack could feel the mattress shift as Race turned to face him. 

“I don’t know,” Jack took a shaky breath. “Say anything.”

“Can I turn the light on?” Race asked instead.

“Please,” Jack muttered. He shut his eyes for a moment, perfectly still as Race reached over him to flick on his lamp. The black behind his eyelids disappeared to red. He opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light. 

“Okay?” Race asked. 

Jack nodded. 

Race scooted closer, slipping his hand into Jack’s. “How many vegetables do you think you can name?”

Jack exhaled through his nose in a way that was almost a laugh. “I don’t know, a few.”

“Prove it. Asparagus.”

Jack shook his head, smiling a little as he joined in Race’s game. “Broccoli.”

“Cauliflower,” Race said with a grin. 

“Carrot,” Jack said quickly. They continued listing vegetables, ideas coming slower and slower as the list grew longer. 

“Tomato?” Race said without confidence. 

“That’s a fruit,” Jack reminded him. “I think that means I win.”

Race squeezed Jack’s hand once, turning his head to kiss his shoulder. “I don’t think you get to decide what’s a fruit and what isn’t.”

Jack huffed. “What are you talking about?” He kissed the top of Race’s head as he laughed. “I didn’t decide, science did.”

Race rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Jacky.”

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments, pressed against each other and still. Jack squeezed Race’s hand tightly. 

“What’s wrong?” Race asked immediately. 

“Keep talking,” Jack said quickly. “Please.”

“Why?” Race asked. 

Jack didn’t know if Race really wanted him to respond. He waited a beat until it was clear Race was waiting for him to speak. “Aren’t you afraid?” Race didn’t say anything. Jack took a breath and continued. “When you close your eyes and it all comes back.”

Race scooted a little bit closer to Jack, hooking his ankle around his leg. “Yes,” he admitted. “But I have you right here.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that when I’m scared I just remind myself that I’m here with you. You’ll keep me safe, right?”

“Always,” Jack said without hesitation. “I’m still scared.”

“Of what?” Race asked gently. 

Jack took a moment to respond. “Dreaming I think.”

“Nightmares?”

Jack only nodded. “It’s easier to stay awake when you’re talking, or I’m talking. Once I stop I sleep. And once I sleep they start. I wake up and they’re still going. I don’t even know sometimes if I’ve woken up or not. I can’t do it anymore,” Jack’s voice was rough. 

Race squeezed Jack’s hand. “It’s okay,” he said very softly. “You can sleep tonight.”

“I can’t-“ Jack started, panic coloring his voice. 

“Jack, listen to me,” Race said firmly. “I’m right here. You’re keeping me safe and I’m keeping you safe. No matter what’s there when we’re asleep, we’ve got each other’s backs. If I wake up you’ll be right here to calm me down and I promise I won’t let you be scared tonight.” Race touched Jack’s face lightly to get Jack to look at him. “I’m right here.”

Jack leaned down to kiss Race lightly. The pressure was just enough to remind Jack that this was real. This was real and Race was with him and they were both okay. 

“I’m tired,” he said. 

“Can I turn the light off?” Race asked. 

Jack nodded. “Can I hold you?” 

Race reached over Jack to shut the lamp off, then settled in his arms. His back was pressed against Jack’s chest and his curls tickled Jack’s nose but Jack found he didn’t care at all. He just wrapped an arm around Race’s waist and took a deep breath. 

He was okay. He was with Race and Race made him okay. Even the electric green 4:02 am on the clock didn’t phase him. 

He closed his eyes, tucking his face against Race’s neck. There was nothing to be scared of. He focused on Race, running through everything he knew about him. He knew Race thought tomatoes were vegetables and also would never eat one. He knew his favorite scent was cinnamon and he was allergic to bees. He knew that when he closed his eyes and slept he would be okay because he was with Race.

Jack kissed the back of his neck, letting himself drift off. Race had already gone still, perfectly asleep in Jack’s arms. 

Jack slept for the first time in days, holding tightly to Race. 

He didn’t sleep for very long. A combination of his own nightmare and the one that Race was clearly having jostled him from his sleep just an hour or so later. 

Jack’s hands were shaking horribly, frightened from the nightmare. Race was moving too much to be alright. Sometime in his sleep he’d rolled to face Jack. 

Jack brushed his hand very gently though Race’s hair. Race jerked awake, his grip on Jack tightening. 

“Jack,” he said right away. 

“I’m here,” Jack said. He moved closer to Race, holding his hand and playing with his hair. “You’re awake.”

Race leaned his head against Jack’s chest, shaking a little. “Are you scared?”

“Yes,” Jack admitted. 

Race held onto him tighter, his chest fluttering from the force of his breathing. “I’m here.”

“Thank you,” Jack said softly. He didn’t let go of Race, just kept holding him. 

Race pressed gentle kisses to his neck and jaw, slowly stilling in Jack’s arms. His lips lingered over Jack’s pulse and Jack hoped that Race couldn’t feel how badly it was pounding. 

“You don’t have to be scared,” Race whispered, clearly picking up on how Jack was feeling.  
“I am,” he admitted. 

Race kissed the corner of his jaw. “I’m right here, you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Jack repeated. 

Race hummed affirmation, curling a little bit closer. “Go back to sleep, Jacky.”

“One more minute,” Jack said gently. 

Race returned to Jack’s neck, forgoing kisses for simply dragging his lips across his skin. Jack traced his hands over Race’s sides, convincing himself to stop shaking. 

His hands stilled as his heart rate slowed and he was left with just Race. His eyelids felt heavy like they hadn’t in a while. 

“Goodnight, Race,” Jack whispered. 

Race kissed him once. “Goodnight, Jack. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jack closed his eyes, and this time he didn’t open them until the morning.


End file.
